Life changing gate!Update: It’s gone!

Hey folks it’s been a while since I last posted, but we’re doing some work around the house and I’ve been extremely busy.

Anyway, you really don’t care about that, so let’s just get to the point: we’ve been clearing out the stuff we no longer want/need in the house. Since our kids are bigger and we don’t plan on having anymore we are getting rid of the gate that kept these animals from leaving the main floor when we don’t want them to.

I present to you exhibit A:

Disclaimer: not my kid, house, wife nor dog.

This is the gate we have, and it’s for sale here:

“What? Only $170 for such an amazing device?! I better go buy one now!” – Everyone ever.

Well hold on there friends. I will give to for free! “FREE?! OMG you’re the best Wayne!” I know I am, I don’t need you to tell me that.

In case you were too lazy to click the link, here are the gate specs:

  • Two way door
  • All joints easily rotate and lock for secure attachment
  • Quick release, adjustable wall mount hardware
  • 30” door section can be placed anywhere within the layout
  • 23” extra wide door opening
  • Heavy duty steel construction
  • Non-toxic finish
  • Basic gate width: 84″
  • Gate Height: 29.5” (when gate is mounted)
  • Installed Height: 31″ (height needed to install hardware)
  • Can be connected to use as a freestanding play area, with the addition of optional extensions

What it doesn’t say is that this gate can be use for more than imprisoning babies! You can also restrain pets, old grandparents that are trying to get to your fun section of the house or even some adults who are too dumb to figure out the latch and lack the athletic ability to raise their legs over 31 inches. (I fully admit to having this issue when it was first installed.)


All you have to do is let me know you want it. Leave a comment, SMS me (if you’re one of the greys who haven’t figured out technology), send me an email, call me, send me a singing telegram or even Morse code my bedroom window with a laser pointer. Just send me some kind of signal and it’s yours.

I don’t do deliveries, so just let me know when you want to come get it.

But wait, there’s more!

I will even throw in an attachment to strap on (*giggity*) to your staircase railing so you don’t have to drill screws into it and ruin your hardwood. (*giggity*)

It looks like this:

See that white thing? That’s it.

I have a feeling this isn’t going to last long, so act fast! Come early! (How are these innuendos working for you?)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *